Dirty Laundry Needs Washing – Not Airing

(Thank you Google Images – I claim no rights to this meme.)

People really need to stop airing their dirty laundry on Facebook… and I’m not talking about photos of your nasty undies. I’m sure we’ve all done it, at least a little. I know that I was guilty of this before and, thanks to some honest family members, I have made my best attempt at not making a public announcement of my disappointments in life. Now I’m sitting where they were a few years ago… watching others post the negativity in their life, including a break up. It’s difficult not to tell them, because I am not their family, so I’ve come to my own personal space in hopes that some will see this and say “hey, maybe she has a point.” So this is my way of saying to you, my friends, stop bickering over Facebook! After all, a negative post about someone makes both the person posting AND the person they’re talking about look bad ON A GLOBAL LEVEL. Facebook is not just used by Americans… (or if you’re from elsewhere, wherever you are from). Also, let’s be honest… it’s not only hurting your own relationship, but both sides of the family who end up reading it as well (which can include children).

Throughout my own life, I’ve always had better release from my feelings when I write, or type, them out. I would like to extend to you some of the other, more private ways, I have been able to go off on an atomic level and keep it to myself. Writing is a great way to find some therapy for yourself without needing to doll out cash to see one that’ll end up telling you some of these same techniques (yes, I’ve heard them from therapists.) There is another avenue if you would like to make a public beef about your life that’s a little less… public. I’ll explain that one first.

**Side Note: I am not a therapist, doctor, or otherwise. I am just sharing what has helped me out to live a happier life. Whether you are single, in a relationship, married, divorced, and most easily “It’s Complicated…”**

Blogging
I know you’re thinking… but you said not to air publicly! Just listen a minute.

In a blog, you can be whoever you want to be. You can live by a nickname, and use the same nickname to make a free e-mail account to sign up for a free blog. Costing no money, would it not be better to always let people think it’s someone else’s raging? Firstly, this can allow you to air out still publicly… yet not publicly because they have no idea it’s you. (No, I would not connect this to any other social media sites… the use of tags alone will draw random people to read your stuff).
**This method may cause people you don’t know to comment the same things you don’t enjoy reading in the comment section on Facebook.**

At the opposite end, blogs can also be used as free. online. personal journals. A blog can be set to private where you, and you alone unless you allow another to read it, can just type out your frustration without needing to worry about any type of repercussion from anywhere. Let your feelings out, think on them, re-read what you’ve written… and see if you feel the same way after you’ve calmed down a bit.

Journal / Notebook
Sometimes writing out by hand is quite helpful. You are angry, you feel your blood boiling over, so you whip out a pen and your journal or notebook. You start writing out all your frustrations and, from what I’ve noticed, by the time I’m mid-rant… I’ve noticed my hand has begun to hurt. This, at least for me, triggers me to calm down a little so I can loosen my grip and pressure I’m putting on the pen. My writing begins to not seem so jagged and by the time I finished writing out my rant, my hand is still feeling that throb. This is a reminder after I’ve closed my journal that I’ve just let a lot out. I often feel better afterwards and find it easier to want to do something productive instead of destructive. No longer do I feel the want to throw things, yell at someone, or worse. (No, I’m not homicidal.. NOR am I suicidal… you jerks, what are ya thinking?)

In a relationship, if both sides can do this at the same time instead of arguing it out, the throb in both their hands should keep a constant reminder to themselves to keep their cool. It would aid in talking things out, depending on severity of the argument. Sometimes it may be best to just swap journals (if you’re wanting them to read it) and go to separate corners and just read. Reflect on each other’s feelings, take time to ponder on how the other is feeling and what they want, and then perhaps instead of talking about it, write out replies in each other’s books. This keeps things civil, at most levels of arguing, and helps each other to keep track of many different things.
**If you are doing this for a relationship, I would suggest not cussing in what you write. No name calling. Just voice your opinion on the matter & how it makes you feel. I also suggest not showing this to other family members. Arguments with your significant other are to be between you two, alone. Other members of your side of the family – of course it’s going to be biased… they raised YOU.**

• Is the other making an effort towards helping you to feel better about the relationship? Do not blindly walk through a marriage, make a daily effort.
• Have you taken advice from your significant other to reflect on yourself? If they’re not happy, perhaps there’s something you don’t realize you are doing.
• Have you read through previous entries you’ve made? Personal growth takes time, and effort. Sometimes you can read something you wrote in the past and wonder “what was I thinking?”
• Are they making a reasonable request? When unreasonable requests cannot be met, it’s time to take time as a couple to work on compromise – coming to an acceptable resolve to the problem that both can be, at the least, mildly happy with.
• Have you offered any thoughts on what may make your lives better in the long run? Marriage is not the end, always look ahead and find a common goal that you both can work towards.

Other Ideas – Ways to cool that inner dragon…
**There, now you can call me a bit of a geek… I said dragon! :O!!!**

• Don’t Exterminate – Exfoliate! (More Geek! A Dr. Who Reference) Take a long hot bath, or a shower (whatever your preference), Scrub really well, let that aggression come out of you as you scrub yourself. If it hurts, then you start calming down a little quicker (a mild warning there)… but after that bath/shower, you will feel 10 times better. As you wash imagine all that hatred and negative thoughts washing away and down that drain away from you. Breathe in the scent of your soaps as you use them (works good for some, not all). Pick yourself up a good exfoliate at the store, I prefer a good apricot scrub (don’t add chemicals to a fire, I say!!). 
• Play a fighting video game against each other. Sometimes all it takes to release the rage is a good punch to the face… right? But let’s not let it hurt! Most people these days have so many games at their disposal, and playing a few challenging rounds against each other can leave you rolling on the floor about kicking their butt afterwards.
• Pamper Day A day out, to yourself, is always relaxing — so long as you can afford to have that day alone. Try to plan these for days you aren’t scheduled to work. A good bath of Epsom salts for the tired muscles is great all by itself. Paint those nails, make up your face and hair, and just go out on the town. For couples, pamper each other. Rub each other’s feet… at the same time if you want. Scrub each other in the shower (no, both parties don’t HAVE to be in that tub in order to do this). Go out for dinner at a quiet spot and just focus on what you love about each other. After that day, think back and then chat about the problem that needs discussing. Things will go over, and feel, a lot more smooth.

I’m sure there are MANY other ideas out there that you can find, where you don’t need to shell out hundreds on a therapist that might not be a good fit for your own lifestyle. My best advice I can give is put faith in your own abilities to live happily. Keep the trust with those you love, stay open about everything with each other… friends, family, relationships… anyone you love. Don’t go burn a bridge with someone just because they have made you angry. Everyone is so much more than that.

Above all… don’t let the negativity spread like a wild fire. The whole globe is watching. I hope this post will be able to help a few people out. It was difficult for me, on some of these, to learn it the hard way. But perhaps these tips can help it be easier for you.

Stay blessed, everyone. Have a great evening!